The last week has been one of wonderful highs and the lowest of lows. In November, we were surprised and excited to find out there would be another baby Barrett joining the family :)! After 3 heartbreaking miscarriages, we were over the moon to make it through the first trimester without a hitch so we announced the pregnancy on our Facebook page the best way we knew how: Super Hero style!
The one lingering fear remaining was the 20 week ultrasound. After such a tough and heartbreaking journey with Eli, we were hoping and praying we would dodge another child with clubfoot. As the date approached I could feel the anxiety and excitement welling up in my chest causing me to break down in tears randomly throughout the day. In my defense, pregnancy hormones were doing me no favors! HA!
Going into our ultrasound last Monday I probably cried no less than 6 times before our 10 am appointment. I played the scene over and over in my mind: The ultrasound tech would put the camera on my belly and the first thing we would see would be perfectly straight feet and capture the perfect shot that I could post all over social media praising God's faithfulness to us. A well deserved gift after 3 years and 5 months of trips to Children's hospital right?! It's always good to tell God what you deserve for your suffering right ;)?!
Unfortunately that just wasn't the case. The ultrasound tech put the camera on my belly and the first thing we saw (immediately!) was that we were going to have another SON & best buddy for Eli!!!
It didn't take us long to also realize that we would also be having another son with clubfoot :( The tech would neither confirm or deny what both Eric and I clearly saw on the screen.
At the end of our appointment, the ultrasound tech said those dreaded words, "A doctor will be calling you in a day or two to go over the results." Two days later, we got the call confirming our fear: a left clubfoot and uncertainty of the right foot being clubbed as it wasn't visable in the ultrasound.
This week has been a heartbreaking and gut wrenching roller-coaster ride . We are teetering on the verge of joy and sadness at any given moment. Neither Eric and I would change a thing about our journey with Eli. Our parenting is better, our marriage is better than either of us ever could have imagined it being, and we have been able to appreciate each milestone Eli has been able to accomplish on a much deeper level. We just wanted to be able to enjoy a typically developing baby's too :)
So, many have asked, how can you help?
1. Celebrate with us. Mourn with us. We are thrilled to have a son and children are such a gift (I'd have 10 if i could :)) but we are also deeply saddened that we will be watching another one of our children suffer through casting, bracing, & therapy. It's ok to just say, "I'm sorry. That's really horrible." Because it is. For us, clubfoot isn't always just clubfoot. For Eli, it was an indicator of a much bigger problem that has resulted in 6 surgeries and 7 specialists that we see on a regular basis. So, even though "we know what we are doing and are experts" we are concerned about what further testing in a few weeks might reveal.
2. Pray that our son is healed. Baby Barrett is currently breach and he had himself crammed into a corner of my uterus. Our doctor really wants this guy head down to give those legs a chance to stretch out :)
3. Pray that God sustains us. We are weary. We are tired of specials visits, surgeries, and trips to Children's. We are emotionally spent. It's hard to imagine starting this all over again and going strong for another 4 years.
Thanks friends for your love and prayers. They mean the world to us <3
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.